Blogger cites 'Rollercoaster' chapter on meds

Award-winning Texas writer, blogger calls 'Rollercoaster' honest and 'worth the read'

Maryann Miller 

Maryann Miller is a literate Texan who covers the book/literary universe on her blog, "It's Not All Gravy."

Her website lists her as an award-winning "diverse writer of columns, feature stories, short fiction, novels, screenplays and stage plays."

Among her numerous honors was being a semi-finalist at the Sundance Institute for her screenplay, "A Question of Honor."

"I've been writing all my life," she says, "and plan to die at my computer, hopefully after finishing a book, not in the middle of one."

Still very much alive, she posted a review today (Jan. 25, 2015) that recommends my VintagePress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer."

Here, in full, is what she wrote about "Rollercoaster" and me, Woody Weingarten:

Any person who has had cancer, or cared for someone with cancer, which means a whole lot of us, will find this book engaging and well worth the read. It is not meant as a caregiver’s guide, although one can take wisdom from some of the ways Woody and his wife coped with her cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment.

The book is an honest chronicle of the experience from day one, to a wonderful conclusion that is sure to make readers smile. With that honesty comes great doses of humor and the harsh reality that dealing with cancer is an all-consuming experience.

Although the book focuses in large part on the author’s reactions to the cancer roller-coaster, there are sections from the point of view of his wife, Nancy, and the reader is privy to some of her emotions, which also seem to careen wildly at times.

The chapter on medications alone is well worth the price of the book. It details the pros and cons of many medications, such as Avastin, which had been touted as a life-saving drug but lost its FDA approval in 2011.

There were so many medications that came and went that Woody wrote, “The drug debates were giving me a mental whiplash not unlike the impact of being rear ended in the middle of a seven-car crash.”

Several chapters cover the results of research over many years, much of it conflicting, as to the causes of breast cancer. In fact, the information is so varied that Woody wrote, "The causes are about as impossible to pinpoint as locating weapons of mass destruction in Iraq was.”

Some of the messages that rang out clearly for me as I read the book were:

• These feelings are normal.

• Even after successful treatment, fear is still always there.

•   While humor can definitely ease stress, anxiety can be malignant.

•   Focus on staying healthy.

•   False information is rampant.

•   Don’t wait. You can never be sure there will be a tomorrow.

I highlighted a lot of the book for future reference, and one of the lines I especially liked was, “Human hope is a wondrous thing to stash in your back pocket.”

I highly recommend this book.

Zero Breast Cancer provides new perspective

Art show features symbolic hats that show cancer also can evoke many positive feelings 

This is my first-ever hurry-up, wake-up and smell the roses or coffee or something-else-wonderful call-to-action.

It's all about an art exhibit.

And about hats.

But you only have two days to experience it before it disappears from The Marin Society of Artists' upper gallery, 30 Sir Francis Drake Blvd. in Ross, adjacent to the Marin Art & Garden Center.

The exhibit, titled "The Zero Breast Cancer Hat Collection," closes Jan. 24, 2015.

So you only have tomorrow and Saturday, from noon to 4 p.m.

On display are hats — fascinating art pieces —created by the Plexus Arts Group, a slice of a 38-hat collection on loan from the permanent display housed at the Zero Breast Cancer offices, 4340 Redwood Highway, Suite C400, San Rafael.

The hats, which are a distinct pleasure to observe (and touch), are symbolic and prove to me that cancer needed be limited to negative feelings.

Items such as these assuredly can make patients and caregivers feel good.

The collection, according to the ZBC, was made in response "to the breast cancer recurrence of their fellow artist," the late Roni Peskin Mentzer. When she was re-diagnosed, the art group "wanted to do something to support her. Roni suggested that they create hats that would be beautiful pieces of art."

So they did.

My wife, Nancy Fox, heroine of my VitalityPress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer," which is aimed at both male caregivers and patients of any life-threatening disease, knew Roni.

She says she was "a very creative person."

ZBC regularly makes the collection available, free, to breast cancer and women's health conferences and art exhibits.

Social networks to feature VitalityPress blog

Blog items will be replicated, duplicated, copied to Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn

My VitalityPress blog items will — as of this very second — automatically be posted to my accounts on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

I hope.

In a sense, and if the technology doesn't glitch up, my items will be replicated, will be replicated, will be replicated like an old mimeograph machine gone bonkers, gone bonkers, gone bonkers.

That, my friends and neighbors, is what's called progress!

Ergo, if you want to read these items a second time, or a third, or a fourth, check 'em out anywhere.

And if you only want to read one once, do it here, please — and follow me, follow me, follow me. (I'm just asking, not begging, in case you were worried about my mental status or repetitiousness.)

Also, in case you didn't hear me the first 3,869 times, please read "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer."

It's available through your favorite bookstore, at Amazon and about a zillion other places.

The book is aimed at male caregivers, but women with the disease can also learn a lot — especially what the men in their lives may experience as a sidekick to someone battling a serious illness.

Weekly boosts breast cancer caregiving book

San Francisco paper bolsters 'Rollercoaster,' male caregiver's guide to light at tunnel's end

Woody and Nancy now

Abracadabra!

Like welcome magic, the first full-length newspaper feature about “Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner’s breast cancer” has appeared.

The print version was published Jan. 10, 2015. 

An online edition followed.

Editors put an intriguing headline on the piece: A memoir about cancer from the other side of the bed.

Here's the story, reprinted by permission in its entirety:

by liz harris, staff writer

j. the Jewish news weekly of Northern California

Their love story is sweet and also remarkable: Woody Weingarten and Nancy Fox met as teenagers in New York and vowed eternal love. They dated for a while and then, questioning their commitment, cut it off and completely lost touch.

Decades later, after a chance meeting in Mill Valley, their love rekindled. At midlife, they became husband and wife.

Seven years into their marriage, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Life became a wild ride.

In “Rollercoaster,” a book 20 years in the making, Weingarten offers an unblinking look at how breast cancer affected him and Fox from diagnosis to the present day. Its primary focus is to help male caregivers through the process, thus the subtitle: “How a man can survive his partner’s breast cancer.”

“Rollercoaster” is also meant to help others navigate the emotional and physical ups and downs, as well as the mountains of confusing medical studies and different treatment options, that come with the disease.

Today life is good, Weingarten declares during an interview in the couple’s sun-drenched hilltop home in San Anselmo. With Fox cancer free for many years, they travel, enjoy a busy social life and pursue lifelong passions. Weingarten, 77, who retired in 2007 after 24 years as managing editor of J. (formerly the Jewish Bulletin), still writes for local newspapers and is working on a new book. Fox, 75, a pianist whose white baby grand piano is the focal point of their living room, still performs at local retirement homes, senior centers and JCCs.

Weingarten acknowledges that “Rollercoaster” isn’t exactly an easy read, but he believes it is a valuable one.

“My major aim is to help people — men whose partners have any life-threatening disease,” he says. “What you go through. What you can expect.”

He utilized his journalism skills to craft a love story/“memoir-chronicle” and comprehensive resource for anyone affected by breast cancer, with current, meticulously researched information on medications, scientific studies and helpful resources.

He also includes a short list of books written for partners of breast cancer patients. “In the last 15 years there have been 15 books published by [and for] men,” he says, while noting that “most of them are way out of date, not well written.”

Weingarten’s book is “positive,” he says. “There’s light at the end of the tunnel.” It also is sprinkled with humor. In fact, asked for the most important piece of advice he can give

Caregivers have each other's backs — always

'Rollercoaster' author and wife turn caregiving and love into a permanent lifestyle choice

I, Woody Weingarten, always have my wife's back. 

And she, Nancy Fox, always has mine.

To whimsically stretch the metaphoric cliché, we always have each other's fronts and sides as well.

Much of that's been chronicled in my new VitalityPress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer."

Its focus is caregiving.

For Nancy and me, that's a lot more than a word — it's a lifestyle choice, one we insist on making every day.

Sunrise view from hot tub in San Anselmo.

Ever since Nancy's diagnosis 20 years ago we've started every a.m. with a soft kiss, trading the phrase "Good morning, I love you."

We never add a "too."

Just an unadorned "Good morning, I love you" in each direction.

We met the first time almost 60 years ago.

The second time, the one that stuck, didn't happen until nearly 30 years later. 

Totally across the country.

We've now been married 27 years, and still make sure we spend a quiet 10 minutes each morning in non-sexual intimacy. 

Chatting. Touching. Smiling.

A lot of times the ritual takes place in the hot tub behind our San Anselmo home. Watching a sunrise.

Sometimes we sit in our deck chairs. Or on our living room couch. Or reclining in bed. The location doesn't matter; the good feelings do.

Sometimes we're silent. Sometimes we list the positive things in our lives. Sometimes we verbalize our love.

At night now and then, we climb into the hot tub and check out the twinkling stars or glowing yellow moon. Those occasions underscore the day's tendernesses.

We've never labeled exactly what we do. But I just thought of something that fits:

Each of us is a love whisperer.

Turning New Year's Day into Thanksgiving

Author offers a tribute to all 'Rollercoaster' purchasers and to all readers of this blog

New Year's Eve fireworks.

As I, Woody Weingarten, relaxed at home in San Anselmo this morning, I realized I needed to turn New Year's Day into a copycat Thanksgiving — because I'm so grateful for so many people for so many things.

So…

First of all, I want to thank every buyer of my new VitalityPress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer."

And every reader of this blog.

And every individual who helped the blog and book (now available in hardcover, paperback and ebook formats through your favorite bookstore or Amazon) become a reality.

I also want to express my gratitude to the many members of BAIPA (the Bay Area Independent Publishers Association) who handed me significant tip after significant tip after significant tip over the past year.

Then there's the small army of encouragers — men and women, way beyond my extended family, who believed in my success even when my belief in myself was shaky.

"Rollercoaster," which aims to benefit both male caregivers and patients, isn't quite a best-seller yet.

But sales are growing slowly and steadily.

Am I at all worried? No. My potential audience is enormous.

According to The New York Times, there are 35 million caregivers in the United States. Other sources double that figure.

In theory at least, each one might be a future reader.

Moreover, I have yet to promote "Rollercoaster" to medical associations, hospitals and libraries.

And as several friends and aides keep reminding me, "When you think of how this book will succeed, visualize a marathon, not a sprint."

Foxy 'Rollercoaster' heroine plays piano on Fox

Pianist Nancy Fox, tap dancer in wheelchair show Fox viewers how music cheers elderly

Nancy Fox

Fox News Channel 2 has spotlighted Nancy Fox, heroine of the new VitalityPress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer."

The heart-warming segment was televised Christmas Day at 5 p.m., then repeated at 6.

If you missed it, you can catch it on the KTVU Channel 2 website.

Just click here, then click on the video (and wait a second or three for it to load).

Enjoy!

Nancy was paired with Maree Gilmore, whom she first encountered a few months ago during a piano gig at the rehab facility where Maree lives.

When the 83-year-old (who's confined for the most part to a wheelchair) spontaneously started tap dancing to Nancy's rhythms, presto, an instant friendship was magically born.

The duo then taped, on Nancy's 75th birthday, an inspiring three-minute video with the theme "Disibilities Don't Limit." That effort is available on YouTube.

A short time later, Sharon Navratil, a producer for the San Francisco Bay Area's Fox affiliate, KTVU, saw a reference to the video in a life-affirming letter Nancy had written to the Marin Independent Journal.

She was so moved she soon brought a camerawoman-editor, Anne Onate, to Kindred Nursing and Traditional Care center in Greenbrae to film the pair for the Fox audience.

Maree Gilmore

Nancy's brilliantly been stroking the eighty-eights there and at countless other senior facilities for years, despite being hard of hearing.

The two-person crew carefully spent almost two hours taping the duo for a segment that lasts only minutes.

Nancy, who's now in her 20th year of being cancer-free, likes to quote from her letter to sum up her feelings about the video and the newscast: "I hope our duet will inspire people with disabilities to continue doing what they love."

She also enjoys repeating what she said in "Rollercoaster," the book I, Woody Weingarten, authored: "I can be happy and healthy…As a card-carrying member of the Cancer Club, a card-carrying member of the human race, I want joy in the years [ahead]."

Nancy's friends emailed and called to offer congratulations — from as far away as Hawaii, where a happy couple streamed the telecast as it was happening — after the newscasts aired.

Those appreciations returned to my foxy Fox wife some of the cheer and joy she's brought others — cheer and joy that could be witnessed in her segment with Maree on Fox.

The whole enchilada could be called a study in inspiration, perfect for the holiday season, or, for that matter, any time.

Tribute is paid 'Rollercoaster' caregiver-author

Quality of Life Commission cites decade of pro-green work by author of 'Rollercoaster'

Praise, as the needlepoint goes, has always warmed "the cockles of my heart."

That's true even though I don't have a clue where the cockles (actually clams, if you really want to know) live within my blood-pumping muscle.

What in tarnation am I talking about?

Well, the minutes of the San Anselmo Quality of Life Commission's November meeting, which were approved Dec. 15, include a tribute to me for 10 years of service on the panel.

You probably know that I'm Woody Weingarten, author of the new VitalityPress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer."

You may not know I was on the commission for a decade, and chair for six years.

Chantal Maher

The minutes, as compiled by Chantal Maher, the panel's secretary, note first that I "spearheaded the implementation of the town's prestigious Green and Silver awards program, presenting over 70 'unsung hero' awards to deserving residents…along with a newspaper article written for each."

In addition, they indicate, I helped put in place San Anselmo's "garden exchange program and organic farm stand, helped obtain approval for free parking of all electric plug-in vehicles…and endorsed the use of both public and alternative transportation to encourage people to drive less whenever possible."

The minutes say I also "helped coordinate the 'Connecting the Green Dots' free speakers series at Town Hall, which has so far included [the topics,] 'Supporting our town's climate action plan' and 'Moving towards zero waste.'"

I am, they go on, "a strong supporter of Marin Clean Energy's 100% renewable Deep Green energy option, and [support] the boycotting of plastic bottles and Styrofoam containers."

The tribute further states that I "encouraged residents to consider the BYOB (bring-your-own-bag) concept long before it became necessary, and supported [the] town's recent ban on plastic bags."

I shop locally, the minutes maintain, and especially back "local businesses that have taken the necessary steps to earn their 'Green Business Certification."

It might have been easy for me to accept the tribute without difficulty except that the following sentences made me tear up:

"There are so many more ways Woody has contributed to the greening efforts of our town than can be stated here. We are sad to see him go but grateful to have had the privilege of serving with such an amazing man, whose experience, leadership, guidance and perspectives will undoubtedly be missed. We thank him for all he has done for the commission and our town and wish him success with his future endeavors."

I've always appreciated appreciation — in both directions. I believe that, as James Brown sang so many, many times, it "feels goooood."

So the appreciation expressed in the Quality of Life Commission minutes is certainly gratifying, and indicates that I apparently accomplished what I'd set out to do — "give back" to the community in which I've now lived 28 years.

Many folks know I resigned my commissioner's post during the November meeting so I could focus my energy on promoting "Rollercoaster."

The main thrust of the marketing campaign for the book is expected to kick off in January 2015. Here's hoping it'll be as successful as what I'll probably look back on as "my greenest years."