Actress pushes women's mental, physical health

Angelina Jolie promoting care for breast cancer patients, especially through loved ones, docs, research

More and more, Academy Award-winning actress Angelina Jolie is becoming known for her work outside Tinseltown.

Such as promoting caregiving for breast cancer patients — not only in regard to the care of loved ones but other aspects pertaining to "mental and emotional health, and physical safety."

Angelina Jolie

In a piece she wrote for a recent edition of Time magazine, Jolie, who's gained even more fame as a special envoy of the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees, explains that "care is not just about medical treatments. It's also about the safety, dignity and support afforded to women, whether they're battling cancer or trying to manage other stressful situations."

Far too often, her column indicates, "they're not given nearly enough."

Jolie had a prophylactic double mastectomy in 2013 — plus surgery two years afterward to remove her ovaries and fallopian tubes — because she'd learned through a genetic test that she carried a mutation of the BRCA1 gene, which sharply increased her chances of developing breast and ovarian cancer.

The surgeries reduced but didn't eliminate those chances. With the operations, she writes, she had an estimated risk of 87 percent of getting breast cancer, 50 percent of ovarian.

Without the mutation, women typically have a 13 percent risk of breast cancer.

But Jolie, a contributing editor of Time, insists that without proper care, a female patient can fall apart not only because of risks of disease like cancer but "because of other pressures in her life that receive no attention at all…her family situation, her safety and whether she is carrying stress that is undermining her health and making her days much more difficult."

It should not take "someone getting sick to realize that faring for them and not harming them is necessary," she insists.

The now 44-year-old Jolie, who'd lost both mother and grandmother to breast cancer before their late 50s, adds that although there's been rapid progress in technology and science since her surgeries that can help "more people survive in the future and [be] able to live better lives during their illness," there's still "no reliable screening test for ovarian or prostate cancer…and no effective treatment for the most aggressive forms of breast cancer, known as triple negative cancers."

The actress, daughter of actor Jon Voight, while maintaining that care and support of loved ones is the most important factor in women's ability to cope with cancer and to face even the possibility of the disease, cites other related problems that plague modern females — post-traumatic stress disorder, for example, "anxiety, psychological distress, sexual violence and domestic violence."

And then, she writes, there's "poor mental health" stemming from "discrimination, overwork, poverty, malnutrition, low social status and unremitting responsibility for the care of others."

Care for patients is an integral part of "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer," a VitalityPress book that I, Woody Weingarten, aimed at male caregivers.

'Rollercoaster' author provides own Fantasyland

Writer flaunts wish on Texan's blog: 35 million to buy and read 'Rollercoaster,' dispel worries

Welcome to Fantasyland, Woody Weingarten version, circa 2015.

During an interview just published online, I implied that if most of the 35 million caregivers in the United States bought my new VitalityPress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer," I'd stop worrying "about getting out my message that there can be light and life at the end of the proverbial tunnel."

Maryann thinks photo shows my message.

Probably true.

But my late mother's DNA legacy, a throbbing worry gland, might not let me off the hook so easily.

The interview, which went online last Wednesday, Jan. 28, was carried out by Texas blogger, columnist, novelist and  playwright Maryann Miller. It marked my initial dip into somebody else's pool.

It was fun to do.

Here is the lion's share of the interview (for the whole enchilada, check out Maryann's blog, "It's Not All Gravy").  

Hi, Woody here. I’m thrilled to be interviewed/interrogated by Maryann, but I must admit I’m a little nervous. Although I’m a chronological geezer, I’m actually a virgin — at appearing on someone else’s blog, that is.

LOL, Woody, that’s the best introduction I’ve had from one of my guests. And now that you are no longer a virgin at this, I do hope you will find other blogs on which to do a guest post.

Q. Please tell our readers how you came to write your latest book.

I wrote “Rollercoaster” because I believed my experiences, research and expertise could help those going through a life-threatening disease or its aftermath. I think male caregivers, often the forgotten part of the breast cancer equation, are particularly in need of help. But women also can learn what their partners may be feeling. According to The New York Times, there currently are 35 million caregivers in the United States. If most of them bought “Rollercoaster,” I’d be able to stop worrying about getting out my message that there can be light and life at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

Q. You have been through the ordeal of having a spouse with breast cancer twice. Did the fact that your first wife had it, make it harder when Nancy was diagnosed?

In a word, yes. It was incredibly sad, and frightening, when the mother of my children ultimately died from the disease. But the fear has faded over time, and Nancy, I’m happy to report, is alive and thriving 20 years later.

Q. There was a lot in the book about chemo-brain, and I know from my sister’s experience that the memory loss is a problem. Did Nancy find that her memory improved after being past chemo for some time?

Nancy’s memory did get better, but there still are blanks and blotches that apparently will never improve. And of course I’m convinced that, like many otherwise loving wives, she’ll never completely forget anything I ever did wrong. (Don’t take that sentence seriously. Now and then she even lets go of my sins.)

Q. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Writing. That’s meant to be a half-joke, and it’s mostly untrue. The hardest part is rewriting and rewriting and rewriting to “get it right.”

Amen to that!!

Q. What is the most unusual or interesting research you have done for your books?

The most interesting by far was discovering that almost any medical findings, no matter how definitive a report seemed, are likely to be contradicted by other research in the following weeks, months or years. The pendulum keeps swinging back and forth, confusing practitioners, patients and caregivers.

That was equally interesting to me as a reader, too, Woody, as was the chapter on medications.

Q. What is your fondest childhood memory?

Believe it or not, it’s a cumulative memory consisting of a series of accidents. I was hit by a moving car while playing ball in the street. I fell off a school wall into a tree limb that pierced my chest. I cut my knee when I recklessly stepped through the windshield of a tractor-trailer that was sitting, shattered, on the ground. The reason it’s my “fondest” memory is simple — I survived.

And we are so glad you did, Woody.

Q. If you could go through a wormhole, would you go into the future, the past, or stay right here? Why?

I’d stay right here. I’m mature enough to have learned more than a thing or two about “giving back” and enjoying life without being too old to make those things happen.

Great thought with which to end the interview, Woody. As you say in your book, looking mortality in the face does give you a new perspective on life. Thanks so much for being my guest today.

BOOK BLURB: 

"Rollercoaster" a comprehensive memoir-chronicle and guide to up-to-the-minute scientific research, meds and where to get help. It shows how Nancy Fox and her husband Woody Weingarten coped with breast cancer, its treatments and its aftermath — and how you can as well. Almost 250,000 new breast cancer cases are diagnosed annually. Male caregivers (husbands, boyfriends, fathers, sons and brothers) typically become a forgotten part of the equation. Yet they, too, need support. “Rollercoaster” can help provide it. Weingarten, a prize-winning journalist for 50 years, has led a male partner’s support group for two decades. Though he became an expert reluctantly, he now unflinchingly shares what he’s learned.

You can connect with Woody at his weblog on Facebook and Twitter

and LinkedIn

COMMENTS:
LD Masterson: Very nice meeting Woody. I wish this book had been available when my dad was taking care of my mom.

Maryann Miller: 
Thanks for stopping by, LD. I, too, wish the book had been available when my sister went through her surgery and treatment.


Caregivers have each other's backs — always

'Rollercoaster' author and wife turn caregiving and love into a permanent lifestyle choice

I, Woody Weingarten, always have my wife's back. 

And she, Nancy Fox, always has mine.

To whimsically stretch the metaphoric cliché, we always have each other's fronts and sides as well.

Much of that's been chronicled in my new VitalityPress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer."

Its focus is caregiving.

For Nancy and me, that's a lot more than a word — it's a lifestyle choice, one we insist on making every day.

Sunrise view from hot tub in San Anselmo.

Ever since Nancy's diagnosis 20 years ago we've started every a.m. with a soft kiss, trading the phrase "Good morning, I love you."

We never add a "too."

Just an unadorned "Good morning, I love you" in each direction.

We met the first time almost 60 years ago.

The second time, the one that stuck, didn't happen until nearly 30 years later. 

Totally across the country.

We've now been married 27 years, and still make sure we spend a quiet 10 minutes each morning in non-sexual intimacy. 

Chatting. Touching. Smiling.

A lot of times the ritual takes place in the hot tub behind our San Anselmo home. Watching a sunrise.

Sometimes we sit in our deck chairs. Or on our living room couch. Or reclining in bed. The location doesn't matter; the good feelings do.

Sometimes we're silent. Sometimes we list the positive things in our lives. Sometimes we verbalize our love.

At night now and then, we climb into the hot tub and check out the twinkling stars or glowing yellow moon. Those occasions underscore the day's tendernesses.

We've never labeled exactly what we do. But I just thought of something that fits:

Each of us is a love whisperer.

Tribute is paid 'Rollercoaster' caregiver-author

Quality of Life Commission cites decade of pro-green work by author of 'Rollercoaster'

Praise, as the needlepoint goes, has always warmed "the cockles of my heart."

That's true even though I don't have a clue where the cockles (actually clams, if you really want to know) live within my blood-pumping muscle.

What in tarnation am I talking about?

Well, the minutes of the San Anselmo Quality of Life Commission's November meeting, which were approved Dec. 15, include a tribute to me for 10 years of service on the panel.

You probably know that I'm Woody Weingarten, author of the new VitalityPress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer."

You may not know I was on the commission for a decade, and chair for six years.

Chantal Maher

The minutes, as compiled by Chantal Maher, the panel's secretary, note first that I "spearheaded the implementation of the town's prestigious Green and Silver awards program, presenting over 70 'unsung hero' awards to deserving residents…along with a newspaper article written for each."

In addition, they indicate, I helped put in place San Anselmo's "garden exchange program and organic farm stand, helped obtain approval for free parking of all electric plug-in vehicles…and endorsed the use of both public and alternative transportation to encourage people to drive less whenever possible."

The minutes say I also "helped coordinate the 'Connecting the Green Dots' free speakers series at Town Hall, which has so far included [the topics,] 'Supporting our town's climate action plan' and 'Moving towards zero waste.'"

I am, they go on, "a strong supporter of Marin Clean Energy's 100% renewable Deep Green energy option, and [support] the boycotting of plastic bottles and Styrofoam containers."

The tribute further states that I "encouraged residents to consider the BYOB (bring-your-own-bag) concept long before it became necessary, and supported [the] town's recent ban on plastic bags."

I shop locally, the minutes maintain, and especially back "local businesses that have taken the necessary steps to earn their 'Green Business Certification."

It might have been easy for me to accept the tribute without difficulty except that the following sentences made me tear up:

"There are so many more ways Woody has contributed to the greening efforts of our town than can be stated here. We are sad to see him go but grateful to have had the privilege of serving with such an amazing man, whose experience, leadership, guidance and perspectives will undoubtedly be missed. We thank him for all he has done for the commission and our town and wish him success with his future endeavors."

I've always appreciated appreciation — in both directions. I believe that, as James Brown sang so many, many times, it "feels goooood."

So the appreciation expressed in the Quality of Life Commission minutes is certainly gratifying, and indicates that I apparently accomplished what I'd set out to do — "give back" to the community in which I've now lived 28 years.

Many folks know I resigned my commissioner's post during the November meeting so I could focus my energy on promoting "Rollercoaster."

The main thrust of the marketing campaign for the book is expected to kick off in January 2015. Here's hoping it'll be as successful as what I'll probably look back on as "my greenest years."

Panel chair presented 70 awards in 7 years

Woody Weingarten ending a 10-year stint as Quality of Life commissioner, relishes legacy

After spending a significant, fruitful decade on the environmentally-oriented San Anselmo Quality of Life Commission, I, Woody Weingarten, have resigned effective Nov. 30, 2014.

I'm a little sad about it.

But I desperately coveted the hours required to do its work.

Woody Weingarten (right) and Kevin
Donahue (and his daughter) march
in Country Fair Day parade.

To put it into context, my tenure (which included six years as chair) equaled half the length of time spent immersed in my wife's breast cancer, its treatments and its aftermath — and doing research for my new book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer")

I've also spent 19 years being the point person for Marin Man to Man, a support group for caregiving males whose partners had contracted the disease, an organization that's one of the focuses of the book.

I have no plans to leave that chairmanship.

But in the letter I read to fellow QOL commissioners I noted that "after considerable thought and with much regret" I found it necessary to step down since promoting "Rollercoaster" will "require a major chunk of my time."

Keeping this blog current, by the way, is part of those efforts.

And though I didn't cite specific achievements of the commission, I did say I'd always remain proud of the advances made during my multiple terms.

Want some examples?

Well, we helped get approval for a weekly garden exchange and an organic food stand on the lawn of Town Hall, led the local movement to substitute reusable bags for plastic at supermarkets and drug stores, obtained free parking for plug-in electric vehicles, won removal of book bins that curtailed revenue for the public library, initiated a free Connect the Green Dots lecture series, marched with electric cars in annual parades, and staffed booths at the Country Fair Days and the Marin County Center Eco-Fair.

And, on behalf of the commission, I presented 70 plaques at Town Council meetings to "unsung heroes" over a seven-year period — Green Awards for green-oriented achievements, Silver Awards for other activities that benefitted the town or vicinity.

But none of those actions address the educational materials we disseminated. 

Woody in Quality of Life Commission booth.

We offered tips on saving energy and water, using public transportation and bicycles instead of driving, substituting LEDs, certifying businesses as green, and eliminating junk mail. 

We also voted to endorse the town's Climate Action Plan, the Deep Green option of Marin Clean Energy, recycling (including cloth diapers, batteries and athletic shoes), the boycotting of plastic water bottles, rejecting Styrofoam containers, stores not stocking rodenticides, climate-friendly landscaping, spruce-up days and shrub-trimming, unplugging home electronics when they're not in use, home composting, Earth Hour, shopping locally, and picking up dog poop.

Plus — as the cliché goes — more, much more.

Not a bad legacy, I'd say.

I have every intention, parenthetically, to continue pushing for environmental advances as well as the betterment and beautification or the area in which I live.

All of which falls into what my dad, my hero, taught me over and over on his lap:

Leave the world a better place than you found it.

Book buoying male caregivers ready in 2 formats

'Rollercoaster' available now, in paperback or Kindle edition, after merely 6,341 updates

Only 20 years in the making.

Only 6,341 tweaks, updates, corrections and other changes before it was "ready for prime time."

Now, as of Nov. 1, 2014, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer" is available — in either a paperback or Kindle edition.

Amazon, the publishing behemoth, has slightly discounted the print version from my originally established list price of $18.18 (a "life-plus-life" symbolism building on one meaning of the Hebrew word chai).

Woody enjoys "Rollercoaster" proof.

The Kindle price is $9.99, with no symbolism whatsoever.

"Rollercoaster" shows "how a pair of very-human beings overcame their anguish in the wake of relentless medical procedures."

It spotlights tons of lessons that I, Woody Weingarten, learned, and lots of emotions I felt, while leading a men's support group for almost 20 years — and simultaneously dealing with my wife's breast cancer, her treatments and the aftermath.

In the final analysis a love story, "Rollercoaster" also illustrates "that physical and psychological hurdles must be cleared, that strong relationships can help kill not only mutated cells but worries that metastasize."

I'm certain that male caregivers can benefit from reading "Rollercoaster" because, even if they mistakenly believe they require zero help and can fix anything, they, too, need support.

Women who are preoccupied with a life-threatening disease may suggest their husbands, boyfriends, fathers, sons and brothers read it.

Or they may read it themselves to find out what those males are feeling.

"Rollercoaster" includes such wisdom as: "It feels good to let go of anger at doctors for not having instant answers; at pharmaceutical companies for manufacturing life-extending but not necessarily life-saving drugs; at yourself for not having a magic wand."

And, "It's crucial to remember each person is an individual, not a statistic (and that breast cancer couldn't care less about race, creed, sexual orientation or politics)."

Buy a copy (or two or three or…). That'll help me spread the message — that male caregivers can help a great deal but need support.

Like I did.