A 'compassionate non-judgmental forum'

Sportscaster becomes veep of support group for guys whose partners have breast cancer

Bruce Macgowan

Noted San Francisco Bay Area radio sportscaster Bruce Magowan has been elected vice chair/treasurer of Marin Man to Man.

That's my weekly support group aimed at guys whose partners have — or had — breast cancer.

Bruce, a Fairfax resident, replaces Marv Edelstein, longtime officer of the group who's left it after 23 years because he's moved to Idaho from San Rafael.

Marv was one of the four original members of Man to Man, which is unique in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Its emphasis has always been on making guys "feel less isolated, uncertain, misunderstood or afraid."

It achieves that goal by providing an easygoing, compassionate non-judgmental environment and forum "in which each member can discuss and understand the difficulties of being a prime caregiver."

I , Woody Weingarten of San Anselmo, have been the group's chair for more than two decades — and reference some material from its website in my VitalityPress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer," which is aimed at male caregivers.

A lot more information can be found on that site, including an article describing the group more fully, first-person stories by members, and reprints of newspaper pieces about it.

Bruce, who's covered more than 5,000 major sports events, has been a regular attendee well over a year.

The group, which is free, welcomes drop-ins at its weekly 9:30 a.m. Wednesday breakfast meetings at West End Cafe, 1131 4th Street, San Rafael, across from the Rafael Film Center.

'Rollercoaster' full of resources, asserts blogger

Zealous writer: 'Rollercoaster' can make cancer diagnosis 'a little bit easier on us all' 

M.J. Joachim

M.J. Joachim is a "very passionate" author and writer from Mesa, Arizona.

A fellow blogger, Philip Verhese Ariel, explains that her passion, in part, has been aimed at "making the world a better place…by raising awareness."

One small step toward that goal, I'm absolutely thrilled to report, occurred when she gave my new VitalityPress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer," a glowing review.

Below, starting with the next paragraph, are excerpts from M.J.'s piece, which was published on Feb. 3, 2015. The full review, of course, is available on her website.

Breast cancer is one of those scary, taboo subjects nobody wants to talk about, despite the fact that millions of people are and have been affected by it. 

It’s personal. Cancer always seems to be so darned personal. 

For decades we’ve danced around the big C word. 

Until now! 

How I wish this book had been around when my father and uncles died of cancer so many years ago! How I wish this book had been around over the years when I had two benign breast biopsies - one at 28, another in my mid 30’s.

Weingarten is the caregiver of his wife Nancy and her breast cancer; years later, he is also the patient with cancer. 

Seems many of us get to deal with the big C more than once in our lives, and in various ways too. 

For all the research, money raised, government programs, medicines and treatments tried, things which Weingarten fully addresses in this book, we still don’t seem to find the answers we need. 

This book doesn’t offer any false hope. Weingarten describes in scrupulous detail the evolution of cancer meds and treatments since the 70’s. It’s an important section in the book, and if I ever do get cancer, you can bet I’ll never opt to take tamoxifen, partly because of what I learned in this book.

All the big C talk aside, Rollercoaster is a love story about a man and a woman dealing with her diagnosis, treatment and side effects (those little things no one really wants to talk about like loss of sex drive, anger and anxiety, relationship challenges, an entire myriad of fears ranging from how to deal with hair loss to night sweats and coping with nightmares, even eating to deal with stress). 

Twenty years later Woody & Nancy are still happily married survivors of the big C that changed and redefined their lives forever. 

“Marin-Man-to-Man is a drop-in, dues-free support group open to any male whose partner has or has had, breast cancer (or another life-threatening disease).” Much of this book makes reference to this excellent resource and support group for male caregivers living in the San Francisco Bay Area, a group Woody himself attends. 

Closing chapters are full of valuable resources and books for both caregivers and cancer sufferers alike. 

If you haven’t personally been touched by cancer yet, you’re lucky. I strongly recommend this book to everyone, because this book has the ability to make the dreaded big C diagnosis a little bit easier on us all.

Thanks so much for taking time to share your story, Woody. I trust and hope many people will be extremely fortunate to read Rollercoaster and benefit from you and your wife’s experience with breast cancer.

Marin Man to Man gives vulnerable guys a boost

Support group for male breast cancer caregivers still going strong after two decades

Marin Man to Man is a weekly support group I've been running for almost 20 years.

It's for men whose partners have or had breast cancer or some other life-threatening disease.

I, Woody Weingarten, have found the group can keep guys feeling healthy — or give them a crucial boost when the walls of their lives seem to be caving in.

A section of my new VintagePress book, "Rollercoaster: How a man can survive his partner's breast cancer," touches on what the group does and can do.

It notes, for instance, that:

Support group meets over breakfast.
Frankie Frost/Marin IJ photo.

We can complement Internet info, factoids and data, often differentiating between truth and fiction.

We can de-code what physicians and other healers say — and don’t say.

We can increase understanding offered by relatives, friends and co-workers because we frequently empathize when they can’t.

We can — without embarrassment — be warm and friendly, direct and anecdotal, and add an intimacy factor because we’re human beings and not a book, journal, chat-room or blog.

We can increase a newbie’s stockpile of contacts and where-do-you-find-its because we’ve been there.

Best of all, we can be ultra-illuminating because we can share what’s worked for us and what hasn’t.

For two decades Marin Man to Man has attracted fellows habitually willing to be candid about themselves and their partners,